"It's All About the Students" HAHAHAHA!!!

Here we go, gang, I'll keep this short and sweet.
...Though sometimes I can be a bit long - winded. SHOCKING, I know.

"It's all about the students".

If I EVER hear another public school teacher spout that nonsense while protesting, I swear I'm going to invent a "Vomit Gun®" that will automatically track the idiot teacher down, anywhere in the country, and spew the contents of my stomach on them immediately.

I know, I know, this is a big sacrifice on my part, but - it's all for the students. I could be anywhere, at any time, and have my stomach evacuated instantly. It would be uncomfortable, but worth it.

I would also design it so that anyone in my proximity would not catch any overspray. I would retch, and convulse, and probably lie there flopping like a fish with an electrical probe up its rectum, but really, no one would know what exactly was going on.

You see, I would have the vomit instantly transported into the 4th dimension, to reappear where necessary.

Okay, enough of the Vomit Gun®.

"It's all for the students".

These are the types of signs I've been seeing in Madison, WI, (coming soon to a neighborhood near you in Ohio, Indiana, New York, Michigan, etc…)
This was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt when the teachers up and split on their students. Yep.
I actually saw an idiot teacher on TV this morning trying to explain their absence with this gem:

"The students are getting a real world education in how to stand for what you believe in." Okay, that makes some kind of bass - ackwards sense, I guess.
In other words:
"Don't go to work, then protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries".

Here's a concept: GO TO WORK, and protest AFTER work- you know, like the vast majority of people in this whole damn country!

As far as the sissy Democrat Senators - here's my tip:

"Don't go to work in a show of protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries". Oh wait… Hmmm.

Here's a BRILLIANT sign. I bet you never saw this one before:

"If you can read this, thank a teacher" HA!

Here is some fun information:

In the National Assessment of Educational Progress tests administered by the U.S. Department of Education in 2009—the latest year available—only 32 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned a “proficient” rating while another 2 percent earned an “advanced” rating.
The other 66 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned ratings below “proficient,” including 44 percent who earned a rating of “basic” and 22 percent who earned a rating of “below basic.”

SOOO… perhaps the sign should say"
"Thank a teacher if you are lucky enough to be able to read this"

More fun, that proves, conclusively, that the connection between money spent and results is UTTER HORSESHIT:

Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil expenditures from $4,956 per pupil in 1998 to $10,791 per pupil in 2008.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator the $4,956 Wisconsin spent per pupil in 1998 dollars equaled $6,546 in 2008 dollars.
That means that from 1998 to 2008, Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil spending by $4,245 in real terms yet did not add a single point to the reading scores of their eighth graders and still could lift only one-third of their eighth graders to at least a “proficient” level in reading.

Okay. Enough for now.
I've got a lot more in me, but it can wait for another time.

Hugs n' kisses,

Stephen Charles

I'm back, AND I'M PISSED!!!

Howdy, Gang-
I've taken about a month off to recharge and research a thing or two, and there are a couple things that are glaringly obvious to me:

In my reading of left - wing, right - wing and chicken - wing blogs and comment sections across the vast, intellectual wasteland that is the internet, I have noticed that BASIC readin' and ritin' is a scarce commodity. There are many people, however, that can make good, solid points but struggle with what I consider to be "WRITING - 4th GRADE".

I swear sometimes, many brains are like tumbleweeds that drift about some ghost town, flitting here and there, without ever staying long enough to put down roots and gather some intellectual nourishment. 'Course, that is the intrinsic nature of tumbleweeds. Silly me.

OK. HERE WE GO!

"There", "their" and "they're" all have different meanings and usage!!!!!!!!
Sorry. I'm truly here to help, and I'm going to make this as simple as possible, to try to compensate for the "Department of Education's" complete and utter failure.
30+ years. Nice plan, President Carter.
Brilliant execution by the NEA. (Not necessarily teachers, however…)

1.) If it is followed by "is", "are", "was", "were" or a contraction thereof, (we'll get to contractions later) … ALWAYS use "there".
To be clear, "their" and "they're" are NEVER followed by "is, are, was, or were".
*Believe it or not, I'm trying to keep this really simple.*

2.) "Their" and "They're" are always used when referring directly to living organisms. People, dogs, worms, whatever. NEVER use "there" in place of "their".

2.a) "Their" is possessive. (That means "ownership".)
For example:
"Their shoes." "Their homes." "Their bullets." In a sentence:
"Everybody left their homes with their shoes and their bullets."
You see, "they" own, or possess, homes, shoes and bullets.
Simple, right?

Now' I'm sure I'm gonna have some smartass say "where are "their" guns?" Well, you see, I can shoot bullets with my shoes. Maybe you can't.

Now, on to the MOST difficult of all of them - oooooh….
"THEY"RE"
(Frightening, I know. Please take a deep breath.)

It's really not complicated:

"They're" = "They are".
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!! (Or, "that is all there is to it"!)
Oops - slipped into the wonderful land of contractions and apostrophes… That will be another lesson.

"They're" is a CONTRACTION of "they are". If you would use "they are" you can shorten it to "they're". PLEASE, make sure you put the apostrophe in the proper place. Otherwise, I'll get hives.

A CONTRACTION, simply put, is mashing two words together, and putting an apostrophe where the missing letter, or letters are.

A TEASER FOR THE NEXT LESSON:
"I'll = "I will"
"it's" = "it is"
"she's" = "she is"

ADVANCED:
"tons o' fun" = "tons of fun"
"top o' the mornin' " = "top of the morning"

Well, I'm sure y'all had tons o' fun walkin' down the ol' dusty trail w/ me! And top o' the mornin' to y'all!!!

Please don't be bashful if you think I've been less than clear.

You're comment's are alway's welcomed with open arm's! I wrote this so dam fast, some of the speeling may be off.




TEASER 2: APOSTROPHES AREN'T BRAIN SURGERY!!!
(No, "put them before every 's' " is not a sound strategy. Neither is "the more the merrier".)

Hugs n' kisses,

Stephen Charles