Yesterday I returned home from running errands for Mom, caulking her tub, etc. to my Loving Wife ( Also known as "The Keeper of the Schedule" ) and highly excited dog, who was obviously thrilled I was back from my ten - year sabbatical. He was all aquiver, talking, grumbling and quivering, tail wagging, with ten years' of stored anticipation,
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that their concept of time is somewhat askew. An hour, or three days, and you've been gone forever. It could be as little as ten minutes, depending on what door you left and re-entered by.
After hugging and kissing my Loving Wife, as is my wont, I reached down to play with my dog. His name is Frank. He was "making C's" like crazy. This is when your dog keeps coming at you from varying angles, and continuously circling back on himself. If you look down on his body, he's "Making C's", like the letter C. That's what I call it, anyway.
Sometimes he can be "The Amazing Self - Petting Dog", doing almost all of the work, if you just leave your hands still, fingers wiggling.
SO in the process of all of this, I realize he has some crusty stuff on his head and middle back.
Knowing I had just bathed him a couple of nights ago - (Bathing A Dog - that could be Installment number 3...), I asked my wife, "what happened?".
She sighed.
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that if you have the refrigerator door open for any period of time, the dog will appear, from any dimension or space - time - continuum, to stick their shnout in the fridge. "Hmmm... what's going on in here?"
Well, my wife was moving some stuff around in there, getting ready to make some fine food. I had shucked some lovely Kumamoto oysters the night before, and had set aside a few in their liquor with a splash of lemon juice and cocktail sauce in a small bowl.
Well, as luck would have it, they fell out of the fridge, and the bowl hit him on the head. He stood there, stunned for a moment, adorned with oysters, their liquor, lemon juice and cocktail sauce. My wife then proceeded to clean him up as best as she could. She did a fine job.
I just wish she would have taken a picture of him in that state. That would have been classic.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Stephen Charles
P.S. Today's our anniversary and I'm looking forward to many more.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
GUESS WHAT - Your life is worth $5.8 million!
My Stepson, Matt, put me on to this. I have a bit more digging to do, but according to the 2008 Federal Register, your ( and everyone else's) life is worth $5.8 million!
I will be fleshing this out more thoroughly in the coming days.
Congratulations!
I will be fleshing this out more thoroughly in the coming days.
Congratulations!
Friday, December 24, 2010
COMING SOON!!! I will attempt to revolutionize the BLOGOSPHERE!
Sometime shortly after the first of the year, I will make a very special, limited time offer.
It could be stupid, and totally suck.
But I think it's going to be fun.
And since this is my blog, I can pretty much do whatever I want here. Well, as long as it's not illegal...
But with the coming "Net Neutrality", as Shakespeare once said:
"Ya just never know!"
STAY TUNED!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Steve
It could be stupid, and totally suck.
But I think it's going to be fun.
And since this is my blog, I can pretty much do whatever I want here. Well, as long as it's not illegal...
But with the coming "Net Neutrality", as Shakespeare once said:
"Ya just never know!"
STAY TUNED!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Steve
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I NARROWLY avoided the Death Tax. Believe it or not.
Hang with me gang, this will take a bit of set up...
Back in about 1990, My ex - wife and I spent some time in Manhattan, close to Times Square. We stayed at the Roosevelt Hotel. One night, we were on our way to visit my buddy Mark, who lived in a 4 story walk - up in Hell's Kitchen. Lovely neighborhood at the time.
We stopped on Broadway, as I recall, to get a slice at Sbarro's.
Standing there enjoying our pizza - all of sudden, I hear: POP POP POP!
Gunfire -
Being the Good Samaritan I am, and also the opportunist, I ran towards the sound of gunfire. My ex bolted back to the hotel.
I got to the man, who was down on the sidewalk, bleeding.
I checked his breathing. Nothing.
Pulse - nothing.
I briefly performed CPR, and realized he was a goner. His heart was stopped, he was dead. A crowd started to gather, and I could hear sirens singing in the hot summer night. The cops were on the way.
It's amazing how time slows down, and everything is absorbed:
The bugs buzzing around the streetlight.
The smell of coffee from the cafe across the street, the murmurs of the gathering crowd.
The sweat on the poor man's handsome face, the gray at his temples.
The metallic smell of his life blood, pouring out.
I felt defeated, until I noticed a sizable bulge on his chest. I opened his jacket and pulled out a large envelope, which was full of hundred - dollar bills. Many of them.
I felt good. It would easily pay for the rest of our vacation, and my ex and I would have enough money to dine nicely for the rest our trip, "LIVE LARGE". Sweet!
Maybe I could even buy her a nice trinket or two.
The next morning, I read in the New York Times that the man had been murdered on his way to give his daughter and son - in - law his life's savings to open the restaurant they had always dreamed of. His wife had recently died, and he had enough set aside to carry him through.
I felt bad, for a short while.
Much longer than our government does for doing the same damn thing.
Estate taxes are criminal. Beyond criminal.
Mr. Weiner, Mr. Frank, and your fellow money grubbing government thieves - What, exactly is your definition of "UNEARNED"? Does the family not sacrifice for everything that the Father or Mother earns? Time away from the family is sacrifice. This is a person's life, that they sacrificed for their family. That WAS A LIFE. DO NOT talk to me about "unearned", you bastards.
CLARIFICATION; 12/25/10: This post, though based on a real incident, apparently didn't make it clear that my taking of the gentleman's money was an analogy of the government essentially picking the pockets of those without a beating heart.
I would never stoop to such a level. I caught a lot of grief from the family last night.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Steve
Stop.
STOP with the class warfare. NOW.
*Whew*
Back in about 1990, My ex - wife and I spent some time in Manhattan, close to Times Square. We stayed at the Roosevelt Hotel. One night, we were on our way to visit my buddy Mark, who lived in a 4 story walk - up in Hell's Kitchen. Lovely neighborhood at the time.
We stopped on Broadway, as I recall, to get a slice at Sbarro's.
Standing there enjoying our pizza - all of sudden, I hear: POP POP POP!
Gunfire -
Being the Good Samaritan I am, and also the opportunist, I ran towards the sound of gunfire. My ex bolted back to the hotel.
I got to the man, who was down on the sidewalk, bleeding.
I checked his breathing. Nothing.
Pulse - nothing.
I briefly performed CPR, and realized he was a goner. His heart was stopped, he was dead. A crowd started to gather, and I could hear sirens singing in the hot summer night. The cops were on the way.
It's amazing how time slows down, and everything is absorbed:
The bugs buzzing around the streetlight.
The smell of coffee from the cafe across the street, the murmurs of the gathering crowd.
The sweat on the poor man's handsome face, the gray at his temples.
The metallic smell of his life blood, pouring out.
I felt defeated, until I noticed a sizable bulge on his chest. I opened his jacket and pulled out a large envelope, which was full of hundred - dollar bills. Many of them.
I felt good. It would easily pay for the rest of our vacation, and my ex and I would have enough money to dine nicely for the rest our trip, "LIVE LARGE". Sweet!
Maybe I could even buy her a nice trinket or two.
The next morning, I read in the New York Times that the man had been murdered on his way to give his daughter and son - in - law his life's savings to open the restaurant they had always dreamed of. His wife had recently died, and he had enough set aside to carry him through.
I felt bad, for a short while.
Much longer than our government does for doing the same damn thing.
Estate taxes are criminal. Beyond criminal.
Mr. Weiner, Mr. Frank, and your fellow money grubbing government thieves - What, exactly is your definition of "UNEARNED"? Does the family not sacrifice for everything that the Father or Mother earns? Time away from the family is sacrifice. This is a person's life, that they sacrificed for their family. That WAS A LIFE. DO NOT talk to me about "unearned", you bastards.
CLARIFICATION; 12/25/10: This post, though based on a real incident, apparently didn't make it clear that my taking of the gentleman's money was an analogy of the government essentially picking the pockets of those without a beating heart.
I would never stoop to such a level. I caught a lot of grief from the family last night.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Steve
Stop.
STOP with the class warfare. NOW.
*Whew*
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I Like Bacon. But, somehow, I HATE "pork".
I'll keep this short and sweet, gang. Well, short, anyways.
What the hell. WHAT THE HELL. WHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELL!!!!!
Do our idiot politicians have any clue?
SHIT!!!
No, they don't, except when it comes to enriching themselves. They are, by and large, experts at that.
Earmarks SUCK. You may believe they are a good thing for the state to which they are issued. And maybe, just maybe, they are. BUT-
After just a bit of research, I found a few very disturbing things.
Here's a simple scenario: (All of these names and businesses are fictional)
JOE SMITH, A Senator from Idaho, has an affinity for the state's population of sexually confused, three legged beavers in his state. (Yeah, right.)
LET'S JUST SAY that there is a bill working its way through congress, for, LET'S JUST SAY, an increase for additional monies to take care of our wounded veterans at VA hospitals across the country.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, who really doesn't give a fat rat's ass about the military, but portrays himself to be a friend of the military, is going to waffle about the bill, because it doesn't include the proper budget for catheters, or some such crap.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, says that he will give his vote if there could maybe, POSSIBLY be some funds included that would grant research funds for the aforementioned three legged beavers. They are sexually confused, too, remember?
STAY WITH ME, PEOPLE.
Here's the earmark:
$250,000 for "Research of the mating patterns of three legged beavers."
The monies are to be granted to the Idaho State College Dept. of Beaver Research, whose department is run by BOB JONES, who is, wonder of wonders, an old drinking buddy of JOE SMITH.
The bill passes, and JOE SMITH receives a campaign contribution of $50,000 from the aforementioned college for his re-election.
WOW! It's elegant, yet blatant bribery.
Aren't earmarks wonderful?
And don't even start with me about what a small percentage of our budget they are. I don't give a shit. Principles still matter. Get rid of earmarks. ALL OF THEM.
Sorry. Not so short, and definitely not sweet.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
What the hell. WHAT THE HELL. WHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELL!!!!!
Do our idiot politicians have any clue?
SHIT!!!
No, they don't, except when it comes to enriching themselves. They are, by and large, experts at that.
Earmarks SUCK. You may believe they are a good thing for the state to which they are issued. And maybe, just maybe, they are. BUT-
After just a bit of research, I found a few very disturbing things.
Here's a simple scenario: (All of these names and businesses are fictional)
JOE SMITH, A Senator from Idaho, has an affinity for the state's population of sexually confused, three legged beavers in his state. (Yeah, right.)
LET'S JUST SAY that there is a bill working its way through congress, for, LET'S JUST SAY, an increase for additional monies to take care of our wounded veterans at VA hospitals across the country.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, who really doesn't give a fat rat's ass about the military, but portrays himself to be a friend of the military, is going to waffle about the bill, because it doesn't include the proper budget for catheters, or some such crap.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, says that he will give his vote if there could maybe, POSSIBLY be some funds included that would grant research funds for the aforementioned three legged beavers. They are sexually confused, too, remember?
STAY WITH ME, PEOPLE.
Here's the earmark:
$250,000 for "Research of the mating patterns of three legged beavers."
The monies are to be granted to the Idaho State College Dept. of Beaver Research, whose department is run by BOB JONES, who is, wonder of wonders, an old drinking buddy of JOE SMITH.
The bill passes, and JOE SMITH receives a campaign contribution of $50,000 from the aforementioned college for his re-election.
WOW! It's elegant, yet blatant bribery.
Aren't earmarks wonderful?
And don't even start with me about what a small percentage of our budget they are. I don't give a shit. Principles still matter. Get rid of earmarks. ALL OF THEM.
Sorry. Not so short, and definitely not sweet.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
OKAY THEN, NOW I'm in a FOUL Humour!!!
Here we go:
What in hell is wrong with the LEFT side? Why are they constantly setting up CLASS WARFARE?
( For what it's worth, I know the answer...) See Karl Marx's 10 planks for revolution:
http://www.laissez-fairerepublic.com/TenPlanks.html
Why is it that they spend so much time demonizing the "Wealthy"? (For what it's worth...) Refer to above.
If you agree with Marx's philosophies, just come clean, already! Let ALL Americans (or me) know where you stand! Don't be a puss.
Here is my take:
"PULL UP THE LADDERS".
I have spent the better part of the last 20 years self - employed. ANYONE who has ever been self employed knows that it is damn near impossible to get to the "magical" 250K.
You sacrifice. And sacrifice. And sacrifice. You go without paychecks, Your employees don't. This is what you do. You are building something for the future, and if it doesn't work, you are left holding the debt, and the bag. Your dream, your failure on the line. Trust me on this. Your employees toddle off to their next opportunity with nary a worry, BECAUSE YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.
If it works, everyone should share in the profits. I believe that. Truly.
Now, think for a moment that you have sacrificed, and sweated bullets, and you finally reached "The Promised Land" of $250K in your pocket. After, let's say 20 years.
Here is where our government steps in, and says : "You have no right to make that kind of money, and if you do, we're going to penalize your success."
It does not matter that you may have provided a very nice living for those who have been along for the ride. Maybe they have had 2.5 children, are living in a nice brick ranch house in middle America, and can afford to have a nice vacation once in awhile.
Pay the PIPER, you SUCKER!
Is there a better way to penalize success that you can think of?
I am truly all ears. Please bring it.
So, "PULL UP THE LADDERS"? Here's what it means to me:
You have ALMOST grabbed the "golden ring"! We cannot have that here in America! There are too many people that have not achieved your level of success, therefore, we have to pull up the ladders - you are NOT allowed here!
Boys and girls, make no mistake, if we continue down this path, it will be the end of the "American Dream".
What in hell is the motivation for reaching for the "Golden Ring" if you are punished when you get there?
Please, people if you oppose my words, bring everything you have, I am confident I will smoke you.
Love always,
Stephen Charles
What in hell is wrong with the LEFT side? Why are they constantly setting up CLASS WARFARE?
( For what it's worth, I know the answer...) See Karl Marx's 10 planks for revolution:
http://www.laissez-fairerepublic.com/TenPlanks.html
Why is it that they spend so much time demonizing the "Wealthy"? (For what it's worth...) Refer to above.
If you agree with Marx's philosophies, just come clean, already! Let ALL Americans (or me) know where you stand! Don't be a puss.
Here is my take:
"PULL UP THE LADDERS".
I have spent the better part of the last 20 years self - employed. ANYONE who has ever been self employed knows that it is damn near impossible to get to the "magical" 250K.
You sacrifice. And sacrifice. And sacrifice. You go without paychecks, Your employees don't. This is what you do. You are building something for the future, and if it doesn't work, you are left holding the debt, and the bag. Your dream, your failure on the line. Trust me on this. Your employees toddle off to their next opportunity with nary a worry, BECAUSE YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.
If it works, everyone should share in the profits. I believe that. Truly.
Now, think for a moment that you have sacrificed, and sweated bullets, and you finally reached "The Promised Land" of $250K in your pocket. After, let's say 20 years.
Here is where our government steps in, and says : "You have no right to make that kind of money, and if you do, we're going to penalize your success."
It does not matter that you may have provided a very nice living for those who have been along for the ride. Maybe they have had 2.5 children, are living in a nice brick ranch house in middle America, and can afford to have a nice vacation once in awhile.
Pay the PIPER, you SUCKER!
Is there a better way to penalize success that you can think of?
I am truly all ears. Please bring it.
So, "PULL UP THE LADDERS"? Here's what it means to me:
You have ALMOST grabbed the "golden ring"! We cannot have that here in America! There are too many people that have not achieved your level of success, therefore, we have to pull up the ladders - you are NOT allowed here!
Boys and girls, make no mistake, if we continue down this path, it will be the end of the "American Dream".
What in hell is the motivation for reaching for the "Golden Ring" if you are punished when you get there?
Please, people if you oppose my words, bring everything you have, I am confident I will smoke you.
Love always,
Stephen Charles
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I'M THINKING OF RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! Installment 1 (of about 237)
Okay. I'm what you would probably call a "common sense" guy.
A few simple starting principles:
1.) I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
2.) I AM SICK OF OUR POLITICIANS APOLOGIZING, WORLDWIDE, ON "OUR" BEHALF.
3.) THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN RUN FOR FAR TOO LONG BY SPECIAL INTERESTS, CORPORATIONS, AND / OR UNIONS.
4.) I AM FULLY AWARE OF THE INJUSTICES WE HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST MANY OF OUR OWN, AND THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN "OPPRESSED" SHOULD NEVER BE LIMITED. THEY SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED.
5.) AS FAR AS "EQUALITY", ENOUGH ALREADY!
THE CONSTITUTION MAKES CLEAR THAT WE ARE ALL Created EQUAL.
If you have an issue with the concept of creation, please leave now.
EQUAL OUTCOME IS NOT GUARANTEED, NOR SHOUD IT BE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE EXPLOITING, FOR THEIR OWN PAYCHECK, THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THESE CONCEPTS ARE ONE AND THE SAME. Howdy, MR. SHARPTON! (The term "Reverend" is inappropriate, I feel.) And the "Reverend" Jesse Jackson, same concept. They may be fine men, but they have done nothing but isolate and separate fellow Americans.
Whew! I'll take a breath now. Just getting started.
RULE # 1:
If you graduated from Yale, Harvard, Princeton or any "Ivy League" school, forget it. It's highly unlikely you will be considered for ANY position. I feel that you've spent too much time theorizing about how the REAL United States of America works to have any concept of how it really does.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you graduated from one of these schools, AND you have started your own business, with no financial investment other than your own, AND reached a comfortable level of success, with at least 10 employees, you may be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 2:
If you have achieved success in a field other than your degree. This indicates an ability to pursue other ventures, and "think out of the box". These candidates will be given special consideration in my administration.
RULE # 2:
If you, or any person in your family, has any previous experience working for a State or Federal Senator or Representative in any capacity, you will most likely not be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you have memorized, and can elaborate upon any or all parts of the Constitution of the United States of America or The Declaration of Independence, there may be consideration.
TO BE CONTINUED...
A few simple starting principles:
1.) I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
2.) I AM SICK OF OUR POLITICIANS APOLOGIZING, WORLDWIDE, ON "OUR" BEHALF.
3.) THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN RUN FOR FAR TOO LONG BY SPECIAL INTERESTS, CORPORATIONS, AND / OR UNIONS.
4.) I AM FULLY AWARE OF THE INJUSTICES WE HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST MANY OF OUR OWN, AND THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN "OPPRESSED" SHOULD NEVER BE LIMITED. THEY SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED.
5.) AS FAR AS "EQUALITY", ENOUGH ALREADY!
THE CONSTITUTION MAKES CLEAR THAT WE ARE ALL Created EQUAL.
If you have an issue with the concept of creation, please leave now.
EQUAL OUTCOME IS NOT GUARANTEED, NOR SHOUD IT BE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE EXPLOITING, FOR THEIR OWN PAYCHECK, THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THESE CONCEPTS ARE ONE AND THE SAME. Howdy, MR. SHARPTON! (The term "Reverend" is inappropriate, I feel.) And the "Reverend" Jesse Jackson, same concept. They may be fine men, but they have done nothing but isolate and separate fellow Americans.
Whew! I'll take a breath now. Just getting started.
RULE # 1:
If you graduated from Yale, Harvard, Princeton or any "Ivy League" school, forget it. It's highly unlikely you will be considered for ANY position. I feel that you've spent too much time theorizing about how the REAL United States of America works to have any concept of how it really does.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you graduated from one of these schools, AND you have started your own business, with no financial investment other than your own, AND reached a comfortable level of success, with at least 10 employees, you may be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 2:
If you have achieved success in a field other than your degree. This indicates an ability to pursue other ventures, and "think out of the box". These candidates will be given special consideration in my administration.
RULE # 2:
If you, or any person in your family, has any previous experience working for a State or Federal Senator or Representative in any capacity, you will most likely not be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you have memorized, and can elaborate upon any or all parts of the Constitution of the United States of America or The Declaration of Independence, there may be consideration.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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