OKAY. I've been off the rails for a long time. I'm back, and crankier than ever.
I am SO disgusted with the freaking direction of our country I can barely contain myself.
POINT 1:
Barack Obama is an IDIOT that seems to feel that "American Exceptionalism" is something to be embarrassed about, or apologized for.
To me,WRONG!
The guy has made some good decisions, ie: Osama Bin Laden, continued pursuit of the "BAD GUYS" in the Middle East, etc.
Domestically, it's been a pigfu@k. Cass Sunstein is using regulatory control to take control from congress.
If you've ever tried to start your own business locally, you can only imagine what major corporations are dealing with.
Here we go - Boeing is getting reamed by the NLRB for trying to establish a new plant in South Carolina, read here:
http://www.newsmax.com/Reagan/boeing-nlrb/2011/05/11/id/395932
POINT 2:
The media, in general, does nothing but throw bombs at (conservative) women who have established themselves with any kind of credibility outside of the "Washington Elite" circle.
Doesn't matter. Any intelligent, God forbid, attractive conservative female is a target.
POINT 3: Male presidents have fuck@d up this country SOUNDLY.
FOR A LONG TIME.
In my estimation, at least 35 years.
Another observation is that progressivism runs along side most of these bastards.
POINT 4:
I could spend another 2 hours ticking off the ways that Carter, BushI, Clinton, BushII, and Obama have taken OUR COUNTRY OUT OF OUR HANDS, but it's pretty much our own damn fault.
POINT 5:
I am ready to consider a Female President.
As a happily married man, and I feel I can speak confidently for most happily married men:
Women have advantages that we simply don't have. They can love you, and still KICK YOUR ASS if it's necessary. All men (and women) know exactly what I'm sayin' here…
POINT 6:
The potential female president MUST BE Post - Menopausal!
Once again, if you are a happily, long time married man, you know what I'm sayin'. You too, ladies…
Well, that is all for now.
Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated.
Hugs n'kisses,
Stephen Charles
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"It's All About the Students" HAHAHAHA!!!
Here we go, gang, I'll keep this short and sweet.
...Though sometimes I can be a bit long - winded. SHOCKING, I know.
"It's all about the students".
If I EVER hear another public school teacher spout that nonsense while protesting, I swear I'm going to invent a "Vomit Gun®" that will automatically track the idiot teacher down, anywhere in the country, and spew the contents of my stomach on them immediately.
I know, I know, this is a big sacrifice on my part, but - it's all for the students. I could be anywhere, at any time, and have my stomach evacuated instantly. It would be uncomfortable, but worth it.
I would also design it so that anyone in my proximity would not catch any overspray. I would retch, and convulse, and probably lie there flopping like a fish with an electrical probe up its rectum, but really, no one would know what exactly was going on.
You see, I would have the vomit instantly transported into the 4th dimension, to reappear where necessary.
Okay, enough of the Vomit Gun®.
"It's all for the students".
These are the types of signs I've been seeing in Madison, WI, (coming soon to a neighborhood near you in Ohio, Indiana, New York, Michigan, etc…)
This was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt when the teachers up and split on their students. Yep.
I actually saw an idiot teacher on TV this morning trying to explain their absence with this gem:
"The students are getting a real world education in how to stand for what you believe in." Okay, that makes some kind of bass - ackwards sense, I guess.
In other words:
"Don't go to work, then protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries".
Here's a concept: GO TO WORK, and protest AFTER work- you know, like the vast majority of people in this whole damn country!
As far as the sissy Democrat Senators - here's my tip:
"Don't go to work in a show of protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries". Oh wait… Hmmm.
Here's a BRILLIANT sign. I bet you never saw this one before:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher" HA!
Here is some fun information:
In the National Assessment of Educational Progress tests administered by the U.S. Department of Education in 2009—the latest year available—only 32 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned a “proficient” rating while another 2 percent earned an “advanced” rating.
The other 66 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned ratings below “proficient,” including 44 percent who earned a rating of “basic” and 22 percent who earned a rating of “below basic.”
SOOO… perhaps the sign should say"
"Thank a teacher if you are lucky enough to be able to read this"
More fun, that proves, conclusively, that the connection between money spent and results is UTTER HORSESHIT:
Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil expenditures from $4,956 per pupil in 1998 to $10,791 per pupil in 2008.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator the $4,956 Wisconsin spent per pupil in 1998 dollars equaled $6,546 in 2008 dollars.
That means that from 1998 to 2008, Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil spending by $4,245 in real terms yet did not add a single point to the reading scores of their eighth graders and still could lift only one-third of their eighth graders to at least a “proficient” level in reading.
Okay. Enough for now.
I've got a lot more in me, but it can wait for another time.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
...Though sometimes I can be a bit long - winded. SHOCKING, I know.
"It's all about the students".
If I EVER hear another public school teacher spout that nonsense while protesting, I swear I'm going to invent a "Vomit Gun®" that will automatically track the idiot teacher down, anywhere in the country, and spew the contents of my stomach on them immediately.
I know, I know, this is a big sacrifice on my part, but - it's all for the students. I could be anywhere, at any time, and have my stomach evacuated instantly. It would be uncomfortable, but worth it.
I would also design it so that anyone in my proximity would not catch any overspray. I would retch, and convulse, and probably lie there flopping like a fish with an electrical probe up its rectum, but really, no one would know what exactly was going on.
You see, I would have the vomit instantly transported into the 4th dimension, to reappear where necessary.
Okay, enough of the Vomit Gun®.
"It's all for the students".
These are the types of signs I've been seeing in Madison, WI, (coming soon to a neighborhood near you in Ohio, Indiana, New York, Michigan, etc…)
This was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt when the teachers up and split on their students. Yep.
I actually saw an idiot teacher on TV this morning trying to explain their absence with this gem:
"The students are getting a real world education in how to stand for what you believe in." Okay, that makes some kind of bass - ackwards sense, I guess.
In other words:
"Don't go to work, then protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries".
Here's a concept: GO TO WORK, and protest AFTER work- you know, like the vast majority of people in this whole damn country!
As far as the sissy Democrat Senators - here's my tip:
"Don't go to work in a show of protest to show the students and people that pay our salaries that we can bring the system to a grinding halt by not going to work then protesting, while you are paying our salaries". Oh wait… Hmmm.
Here's a BRILLIANT sign. I bet you never saw this one before:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher" HA!
Here is some fun information:
In the National Assessment of Educational Progress tests administered by the U.S. Department of Education in 2009—the latest year available—only 32 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned a “proficient” rating while another 2 percent earned an “advanced” rating.
The other 66 percent of Wisconsin public-school eighth graders earned ratings below “proficient,” including 44 percent who earned a rating of “basic” and 22 percent who earned a rating of “below basic.”
SOOO… perhaps the sign should say"
"Thank a teacher if you are lucky enough to be able to read this"
More fun, that proves, conclusively, that the connection between money spent and results is UTTER HORSESHIT:
Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil expenditures from $4,956 per pupil in 1998 to $10,791 per pupil in 2008.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator the $4,956 Wisconsin spent per pupil in 1998 dollars equaled $6,546 in 2008 dollars.
That means that from 1998 to 2008, Wisconsin public schools increased their per pupil spending by $4,245 in real terms yet did not add a single point to the reading scores of their eighth graders and still could lift only one-third of their eighth graders to at least a “proficient” level in reading.
Okay. Enough for now.
I've got a lot more in me, but it can wait for another time.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
Friday, February 18, 2011
I'm back, AND I'M PISSED!!!
Howdy, Gang-
I've taken about a month off to recharge and research a thing or two, and there are a couple things that are glaringly obvious to me:
In my reading of left - wing, right - wing and chicken - wing blogs and comment sections across the vast, intellectual wasteland that is the internet, I have noticed that BASIC readin' and ritin' is a scarce commodity. There are many people, however, that can make good, solid points but struggle with what I consider to be "WRITING - 4th GRADE".
I swear sometimes, many brains are like tumbleweeds that drift about some ghost town, flitting here and there, without ever staying long enough to put down roots and gather some intellectual nourishment. 'Course, that is the intrinsic nature of tumbleweeds. Silly me.
OK. HERE WE GO!
"There", "their" and "they're" all have different meanings and usage!!!!!!!!
Sorry. I'm truly here to help, and I'm going to make this as simple as possible, to try to compensate for the "Department of Education's" complete and utter failure.
30+ years. Nice plan, President Carter.
Brilliant execution by the NEA. (Not necessarily teachers, however…)
1.) If it is followed by "is", "are", "was", "were" or a contraction thereof, (we'll get to contractions later) … ALWAYS use "there".
To be clear, "their" and "they're" are NEVER followed by "is, are, was, or were".
*Believe it or not, I'm trying to keep this really simple.*
2.) "Their" and "They're" are always used when referring directly to living organisms. People, dogs, worms, whatever. NEVER use "there" in place of "their".
2.a) "Their" is possessive. (That means "ownership".)
For example:
"Their shoes." "Their homes." "Their bullets." In a sentence:
"Everybody left their homes with their shoes and their bullets."
You see, "they" own, or possess, homes, shoes and bullets.
Simple, right?
Now' I'm sure I'm gonna have some smartass say "where are "their" guns?" Well, you see, I can shoot bullets with my shoes. Maybe you can't.
Now, on to the MOST difficult of all of them - oooooh….
"THEY"RE"
(Frightening, I know. Please take a deep breath.)
It's really not complicated:
"They're" = "They are".
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!! (Or, "that is all there is to it"!)
Oops - slipped into the wonderful land of contractions and apostrophes… That will be another lesson.
"They're" is a CONTRACTION of "they are". If you would use "they are" you can shorten it to "they're". PLEASE, make sure you put the apostrophe in the proper place. Otherwise, I'll get hives.
A CONTRACTION, simply put, is mashing two words together, and putting an apostrophe where the missing letter, or letters are.
A TEASER FOR THE NEXT LESSON:
"I'll = "I will"
"it's" = "it is"
"she's" = "she is"
ADVANCED:
"tons o' fun" = "tons of fun"
"top o' the mornin' " = "top of the morning"
Well, I'm sure y'all had tons o' fun walkin' down the ol' dusty trail w/ me! And top o' the mornin' to y'all!!!
Please don't be bashful if you think I've been less than clear.
You're comment's are alway's welcomed with open arm's! I wrote this so dam fast, some of the speeling may be off.
TEASER 2: APOSTROPHES AREN'T BRAIN SURGERY!!!
(No, "put them before every 's' " is not a sound strategy. Neither is "the more the merrier".)
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
I've taken about a month off to recharge and research a thing or two, and there are a couple things that are glaringly obvious to me:
In my reading of left - wing, right - wing and chicken - wing blogs and comment sections across the vast, intellectual wasteland that is the internet, I have noticed that BASIC readin' and ritin' is a scarce commodity. There are many people, however, that can make good, solid points but struggle with what I consider to be "WRITING - 4th GRADE".
I swear sometimes, many brains are like tumbleweeds that drift about some ghost town, flitting here and there, without ever staying long enough to put down roots and gather some intellectual nourishment. 'Course, that is the intrinsic nature of tumbleweeds. Silly me.
OK. HERE WE GO!
"There", "their" and "they're" all have different meanings and usage!!!!!!!!
Sorry. I'm truly here to help, and I'm going to make this as simple as possible, to try to compensate for the "Department of Education's" complete and utter failure.
30+ years. Nice plan, President Carter.
Brilliant execution by the NEA. (Not necessarily teachers, however…)
1.) If it is followed by "is", "are", "was", "were" or a contraction thereof, (we'll get to contractions later) … ALWAYS use "there".
To be clear, "their" and "they're" are NEVER followed by "is, are, was, or were".
*Believe it or not, I'm trying to keep this really simple.*
2.) "Their" and "They're" are always used when referring directly to living organisms. People, dogs, worms, whatever. NEVER use "there" in place of "their".
2.a) "Their" is possessive. (That means "ownership".)
For example:
"Their shoes." "Their homes." "Their bullets." In a sentence:
"Everybody left their homes with their shoes and their bullets."
You see, "they" own, or possess, homes, shoes and bullets.
Simple, right?
Now' I'm sure I'm gonna have some smartass say "where are "their" guns?" Well, you see, I can shoot bullets with my shoes. Maybe you can't.
Now, on to the MOST difficult of all of them - oooooh….
"THEY"RE"
(Frightening, I know. Please take a deep breath.)
It's really not complicated:
"They're" = "They are".
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!! (Or, "that is all there is to it"!)
Oops - slipped into the wonderful land of contractions and apostrophes… That will be another lesson.
"They're" is a CONTRACTION of "they are". If you would use "they are" you can shorten it to "they're". PLEASE, make sure you put the apostrophe in the proper place. Otherwise, I'll get hives.
A CONTRACTION, simply put, is mashing two words together, and putting an apostrophe where the missing letter, or letters are.
A TEASER FOR THE NEXT LESSON:
"I'll = "I will"
"it's" = "it is"
"she's" = "she is"
ADVANCED:
"tons o' fun" = "tons of fun"
"top o' the mornin' " = "top of the morning"
Well, I'm sure y'all had tons o' fun walkin' down the ol' dusty trail w/ me! And top o' the mornin' to y'all!!!
Please don't be bashful if you think I've been less than clear.
You're comment's are alway's welcomed with open arm's! I wrote this so dam fast, some of the speeling may be off.
TEASER 2: APOSTROPHES AREN'T BRAIN SURGERY!!!
(No, "put them before every 's' " is not a sound strategy. Neither is "the more the merrier".)
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
Friday, January 14, 2011
SOMEWHAT DISJOINTED RANT- (Installment 1) -PEP RALLY IN AZ.
WHY DID WE HAVE A PEP RALLY IN ARIZONA LAST NIGHT?
Hello, everybody. I watched bits and pieces of the “festivities” yesterday, and I have a few thoughts to share:
1.) President Obama’s speech was VERY good. Let’s get that right out of the way. I am not a “hater,” make no mistake. Neither am I a big fan.
2.) This had the feel of a “pep rally”, and that really bothered me.
3.) Large parts of it felt very contrived to me.
4.) For some reason, the left WILL NOT stop the “blame game.” Why?
The fact that the left continues to throw molotov cocktails at the right and talk radio simply shows me what many of the far left are made of, or afraid of. Open dialog threatens their feeble grasp on power.
Why does anyone have to grasp power? Free speech is, to me, the most important freedom we Americans have that distinguishes us from MANY in the world.
Now, we have the new Governor of RI forbidding any public employee from appearing on “talk radio”, as it is a “profit driven, entertainment outlet”, or somesuch. Understand, America, PROFITS ARE EVIL!
NPR is okay, though. No profit, hence, no problem.
In many cases, “talk radio” is an opportunity for folks in “Tunafish, Wyoming” to get something off their chest, because, as some of us know, getting a “letter to the editor” published is an especially rare occasion. Perhaps it could be considered a “pressure valve”.
MAYBE it gives the average American (AKA dumb hick) a chance to know they are not alone - in their:
“Bigoted, Racist, Homophobic, Islamaphobic, Gay - Bashing, Government Hating, Gun - Clinging, God Clinging, Anti - Womens’ Rights, Environment - Destroying, WACKO philosophies.
It must REALLY suck to carry around that much hatred and angst. It’s amazing how many names the far left has assigned to people that don’t TOE THE PARTY LINE.
WELL. Getting back to the original point, It felt wrong that there was not a sense of solemn awareness, overall, of the gravity of what had transpired in Tucson.
Too much applause for me.
Just my thoughts. Take them or leave them. I love free speech.
Over and out,
Stephen Charles
P.S. My thoughts and prayers have been, and will continue to be, going out to the families of, and those directly impacted by these horrible events. I am very encouraged by Congresswoman Gifford’s progress, as I’m sure many of you are.
Hello, everybody. I watched bits and pieces of the “festivities” yesterday, and I have a few thoughts to share:
1.) President Obama’s speech was VERY good. Let’s get that right out of the way. I am not a “hater,” make no mistake. Neither am I a big fan.
2.) This had the feel of a “pep rally”, and that really bothered me.
3.) Large parts of it felt very contrived to me.
4.) For some reason, the left WILL NOT stop the “blame game.” Why?
The fact that the left continues to throw molotov cocktails at the right and talk radio simply shows me what many of the far left are made of, or afraid of. Open dialog threatens their feeble grasp on power.
Why does anyone have to grasp power? Free speech is, to me, the most important freedom we Americans have that distinguishes us from MANY in the world.
Now, we have the new Governor of RI forbidding any public employee from appearing on “talk radio”, as it is a “profit driven, entertainment outlet”, or somesuch. Understand, America, PROFITS ARE EVIL!
NPR is okay, though. No profit, hence, no problem.
In many cases, “talk radio” is an opportunity for folks in “Tunafish, Wyoming” to get something off their chest, because, as some of us know, getting a “letter to the editor” published is an especially rare occasion. Perhaps it could be considered a “pressure valve”.
MAYBE it gives the average American (AKA dumb hick) a chance to know they are not alone - in their:
“Bigoted, Racist, Homophobic, Islamaphobic, Gay - Bashing, Government Hating, Gun - Clinging, God Clinging, Anti - Womens’ Rights, Environment - Destroying, WACKO philosophies.
It must REALLY suck to carry around that much hatred and angst. It’s amazing how many names the far left has assigned to people that don’t TOE THE PARTY LINE.
WELL. Getting back to the original point, It felt wrong that there was not a sense of solemn awareness, overall, of the gravity of what had transpired in Tucson.
Too much applause for me.
Just my thoughts. Take them or leave them. I love free speech.
Over and out,
Stephen Charles
P.S. My thoughts and prayers have been, and will continue to be, going out to the families of, and those directly impacted by these horrible events. I am very encouraged by Congresswoman Gifford’s progress, as I’m sure many of you are.
Monday, January 10, 2011
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABEEEE!
Well, actually, let’s talk about the CBO, otherwise known as the Congressional Budget Office.
Sorry about the gratuitous sex thing.
BUT, almost as exciting, we have a brief tutorial for those uninformed about yet another governmental load of utter horseshit.
OKAY. The Congressional Budget Office is a “ non partisan” organization created by the Congressional Budget and Impoundment Control Act of 1974.
I like the sound of “impoundment” - how ‘bout you?
OKAY, again. Let’s just get this out of the way immediately: The CBO can ONLY WORK WITH THE INFORMATION IT RECEIVES FROM WHOMEVER SUBMITS THAT INFORMATION.
So, any time you hear someone referring to the conclusions of the CBO, there should be klaxons, alarms, bells, alarms and more klaxons and bells going off in your head.
If it doesn’t sit properly in your gut, these alarms should send your bullshit detector off the end of the BS scale. I don’t care whether it’s the left or right, once again, say it with me:
The CBO can ONLY WORK WITH THE INFORMATION IT RECEIVES FROM WHOMEVER SUBMITS THAT INFORMATION.
Oddly enough, the conclusions of the CBO are spoken of as a modern day Rosetta Stone, as though the results are impervious to any serious further discussion; the case is closed, the translation is without fault.
SO - let’s, for example, have a go at breakfast sausage! (I like food analogies, if you haven’t yet figured that out...)
The CBO receives this recipe, and draws its conclusions based thereon:
40 grams kosher salt
50 grams peeled and finely grated fresh ginger
30 grams tightly packed finely chopped fresh sage
18 grams minced garlic
6 grams white or black pepper, freshly ground
250 ml ice water
Combine all ingredients, toss, etc, etc.
The CBO’s conclusion is that this would indeed make a delicious breakfast sausage, BASED UPON THE INFORMATION THEY HAVE RECEIVED.
And it would!
BUT, for anyone with any experience making sausage, it would be apparent that the most important ingredient is missing:
2.25 KG boneless pork shoulder, diced
AKA the “Doctor Fix”
NOW, does this highlight an inherent flaw in the CBO? Of course it does!
Essentially, the CBO follows the classic cliche:
“Garbage in, garbage out.”
P.S. For anyone interested in making this sausage, I would be happy to provide all of the information you need to complete it. It really is wonderful. Once you have made and enjoyed fresh homemade sausage, it is a real eye - opener, and much more simple than you may think. It’s easy to make into patties. No need messing about with sheep intestines or the like.
Peace and love,
Stephen Charles
Sorry about the gratuitous sex thing.
BUT, almost as exciting, we have a brief tutorial for those uninformed about yet another governmental load of utter horseshit.
OKAY. The Congressional Budget Office is a “ non partisan” organization created by the Congressional Budget and Impoundment Control Act of 1974.
I like the sound of “impoundment” - how ‘bout you?
OKAY, again. Let’s just get this out of the way immediately: The CBO can ONLY WORK WITH THE INFORMATION IT RECEIVES FROM WHOMEVER SUBMITS THAT INFORMATION.
So, any time you hear someone referring to the conclusions of the CBO, there should be klaxons, alarms, bells, alarms and more klaxons and bells going off in your head.
If it doesn’t sit properly in your gut, these alarms should send your bullshit detector off the end of the BS scale. I don’t care whether it’s the left or right, once again, say it with me:
The CBO can ONLY WORK WITH THE INFORMATION IT RECEIVES FROM WHOMEVER SUBMITS THAT INFORMATION.
Oddly enough, the conclusions of the CBO are spoken of as a modern day Rosetta Stone, as though the results are impervious to any serious further discussion; the case is closed, the translation is without fault.
SO - let’s, for example, have a go at breakfast sausage! (I like food analogies, if you haven’t yet figured that out...)
The CBO receives this recipe, and draws its conclusions based thereon:
40 grams kosher salt
50 grams peeled and finely grated fresh ginger
30 grams tightly packed finely chopped fresh sage
18 grams minced garlic
6 grams white or black pepper, freshly ground
250 ml ice water
Combine all ingredients, toss, etc, etc.
The CBO’s conclusion is that this would indeed make a delicious breakfast sausage, BASED UPON THE INFORMATION THEY HAVE RECEIVED.
And it would!
BUT, for anyone with any experience making sausage, it would be apparent that the most important ingredient is missing:
2.25 KG boneless pork shoulder, diced
AKA the “Doctor Fix”
NOW, does this highlight an inherent flaw in the CBO? Of course it does!
Essentially, the CBO follows the classic cliche:
“Garbage in, garbage out.”
P.S. For anyone interested in making this sausage, I would be happy to provide all of the information you need to complete it. It really is wonderful. Once you have made and enjoyed fresh homemade sausage, it is a real eye - opener, and much more simple than you may think. It’s easy to make into patties. No need messing about with sheep intestines or the like.
Peace and love,
Stephen Charles
THE UTTER HYPOCRISY OF THE LEFT
THE UTTER HYPOCRISY OF THE LEFT
This post may seem a bit rambling and incoherent at times, because I am quite simply writing off of the top of my head, and I want to maintain a sense of my outrage and disgust without over analyzing...
The horrific incident that unfolded in AZ over the weekend gave the left an immediate opportunity to spew their typical kneejerk reactions - the target - hold on to your seats, boys and girls, THE RIGHT.
BEFORE any facts whatsoever were released, the left immediately jumped into the fray connecting this tragic act and “The vitriol of the Right” and “Hate Speech” attributed to such figures as Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, etc. In other words, “The Usual Suspects.”
YOU MAY REMEMBER after the Fort Hood massacre, that the left pleaded for patience, not jumping to conclusions, calm, etc, etc.
No such request here, however. A perfect opportunity to castigate and incriminate one of the things that the left fears most - FREE SPEECH. It is free unless, of course, it comes from them.
MAKE NO MISTAKE. There are assholes aplenty in both the right and left. What bothers me most is how quickly the left will take advantage of a “crisis” such as this to move forward with their agenda of restriction of speech, guns, you know, the typical stuff.
IN MY OPINION, the left is much more guilty of hateful, incendiary actions and words.
One TINY example:
Hey - you may find this funny, or appropriate, or non - inflammatory.
I really don’t care. I am a fan of free speech.
I find it as offensive as I would if Obama were the target.
What bothers me is the double standard that many people exhibit, primarily on the left.
“WE CAN DO IT, BUT YOU CAN’T.”
If anyone reading this can find a similar example of somesuch from the right, I feel confident that I can go 2 to 1 with you. Don’t bring the Obama as The Joker, or as Hitler, because that would be far too easy.
Let’s all stay focused on the fact that in a free society, horrendous things happen from time to time.
To paraphrase JFK, “It is not hard to kill The President. All you have to be willing to do is sacrifice your life for his.”
That could well apply to any one walking the planet, really.
What we have here is a wacko. Plain and simple.
Stop with the political haymaking already and focus on supporting the families of those that were killed or injured in this horrible incident.
Peace and Love,
Stephen Charles
This post may seem a bit rambling and incoherent at times, because I am quite simply writing off of the top of my head, and I want to maintain a sense of my outrage and disgust without over analyzing...
The horrific incident that unfolded in AZ over the weekend gave the left an immediate opportunity to spew their typical kneejerk reactions - the target - hold on to your seats, boys and girls, THE RIGHT.
BEFORE any facts whatsoever were released, the left immediately jumped into the fray connecting this tragic act and “The vitriol of the Right” and “Hate Speech” attributed to such figures as Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, etc. In other words, “The Usual Suspects.”
YOU MAY REMEMBER after the Fort Hood massacre, that the left pleaded for patience, not jumping to conclusions, calm, etc, etc.
No such request here, however. A perfect opportunity to castigate and incriminate one of the things that the left fears most - FREE SPEECH. It is free unless, of course, it comes from them.
MAKE NO MISTAKE. There are assholes aplenty in both the right and left. What bothers me most is how quickly the left will take advantage of a “crisis” such as this to move forward with their agenda of restriction of speech, guns, you know, the typical stuff.
IN MY OPINION, the left is much more guilty of hateful, incendiary actions and words.
One TINY example:
Hey - you may find this funny, or appropriate, or non - inflammatory.
I really don’t care. I am a fan of free speech.
I find it as offensive as I would if Obama were the target.
What bothers me is the double standard that many people exhibit, primarily on the left.
“WE CAN DO IT, BUT YOU CAN’T.”
If anyone reading this can find a similar example of somesuch from the right, I feel confident that I can go 2 to 1 with you. Don’t bring the Obama as The Joker, or as Hitler, because that would be far too easy.
Let’s all stay focused on the fact that in a free society, horrendous things happen from time to time.
To paraphrase JFK, “It is not hard to kill The President. All you have to be willing to do is sacrifice your life for his.”
That could well apply to any one walking the planet, really.
What we have here is a wacko. Plain and simple.
Stop with the political haymaking already and focus on supporting the families of those that were killed or injured in this horrible incident.
Peace and Love,
Stephen Charles
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Oysters fell on my dog's head. "FOR DOG PEOPLE ONLY" (Installment 2)
Yesterday I returned home from running errands for Mom, caulking her tub, etc. to my Loving Wife ( Also known as "The Keeper of the Schedule" ) and highly excited dog, who was obviously thrilled I was back from my ten - year sabbatical. He was all aquiver, talking, grumbling and quivering, tail wagging, with ten years' of stored anticipation,
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that their concept of time is somewhat askew. An hour, or three days, and you've been gone forever. It could be as little as ten minutes, depending on what door you left and re-entered by.
After hugging and kissing my Loving Wife, as is my wont, I reached down to play with my dog. His name is Frank. He was "making C's" like crazy. This is when your dog keeps coming at you from varying angles, and continuously circling back on himself. If you look down on his body, he's "Making C's", like the letter C. That's what I call it, anyway.
Sometimes he can be "The Amazing Self - Petting Dog", doing almost all of the work, if you just leave your hands still, fingers wiggling.
SO in the process of all of this, I realize he has some crusty stuff on his head and middle back.
Knowing I had just bathed him a couple of nights ago - (Bathing A Dog - that could be Installment number 3...), I asked my wife, "what happened?".
She sighed.
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that if you have the refrigerator door open for any period of time, the dog will appear, from any dimension or space - time - continuum, to stick their shnout in the fridge. "Hmmm... what's going on in here?"
Well, my wife was moving some stuff around in there, getting ready to make some fine food. I had shucked some lovely Kumamoto oysters the night before, and had set aside a few in their liquor with a splash of lemon juice and cocktail sauce in a small bowl.
Well, as luck would have it, they fell out of the fridge, and the bowl hit him on the head. He stood there, stunned for a moment, adorned with oysters, their liquor, lemon juice and cocktail sauce. My wife then proceeded to clean him up as best as she could. She did a fine job.
I just wish she would have taken a picture of him in that state. That would have been classic.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Stephen Charles
P.S. Today's our anniversary and I'm looking forward to many more.
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that their concept of time is somewhat askew. An hour, or three days, and you've been gone forever. It could be as little as ten minutes, depending on what door you left and re-entered by.
After hugging and kissing my Loving Wife, as is my wont, I reached down to play with my dog. His name is Frank. He was "making C's" like crazy. This is when your dog keeps coming at you from varying angles, and continuously circling back on himself. If you look down on his body, he's "Making C's", like the letter C. That's what I call it, anyway.
Sometimes he can be "The Amazing Self - Petting Dog", doing almost all of the work, if you just leave your hands still, fingers wiggling.
SO in the process of all of this, I realize he has some crusty stuff on his head and middle back.
Knowing I had just bathed him a couple of nights ago - (Bathing A Dog - that could be Installment number 3...), I asked my wife, "what happened?".
She sighed.
ANYONE who has ever had a dog knows that if you have the refrigerator door open for any period of time, the dog will appear, from any dimension or space - time - continuum, to stick their shnout in the fridge. "Hmmm... what's going on in here?"
Well, my wife was moving some stuff around in there, getting ready to make some fine food. I had shucked some lovely Kumamoto oysters the night before, and had set aside a few in their liquor with a splash of lemon juice and cocktail sauce in a small bowl.
Well, as luck would have it, they fell out of the fridge, and the bowl hit him on the head. He stood there, stunned for a moment, adorned with oysters, their liquor, lemon juice and cocktail sauce. My wife then proceeded to clean him up as best as she could. She did a fine job.
I just wish she would have taken a picture of him in that state. That would have been classic.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Stephen Charles
P.S. Today's our anniversary and I'm looking forward to many more.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
GUESS WHAT - Your life is worth $5.8 million!
My Stepson, Matt, put me on to this. I have a bit more digging to do, but according to the 2008 Federal Register, your ( and everyone else's) life is worth $5.8 million!
I will be fleshing this out more thoroughly in the coming days.
Congratulations!
I will be fleshing this out more thoroughly in the coming days.
Congratulations!
Friday, December 24, 2010
COMING SOON!!! I will attempt to revolutionize the BLOGOSPHERE!
Sometime shortly after the first of the year, I will make a very special, limited time offer.
It could be stupid, and totally suck.
But I think it's going to be fun.
And since this is my blog, I can pretty much do whatever I want here. Well, as long as it's not illegal...
But with the coming "Net Neutrality", as Shakespeare once said:
"Ya just never know!"
STAY TUNED!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Steve
It could be stupid, and totally suck.
But I think it's going to be fun.
And since this is my blog, I can pretty much do whatever I want here. Well, as long as it's not illegal...
But with the coming "Net Neutrality", as Shakespeare once said:
"Ya just never know!"
STAY TUNED!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Steve
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I NARROWLY avoided the Death Tax. Believe it or not.
Hang with me gang, this will take a bit of set up...
Back in about 1990, My ex - wife and I spent some time in Manhattan, close to Times Square. We stayed at the Roosevelt Hotel. One night, we were on our way to visit my buddy Mark, who lived in a 4 story walk - up in Hell's Kitchen. Lovely neighborhood at the time.
We stopped on Broadway, as I recall, to get a slice at Sbarro's.
Standing there enjoying our pizza - all of sudden, I hear: POP POP POP!
Gunfire -
Being the Good Samaritan I am, and also the opportunist, I ran towards the sound of gunfire. My ex bolted back to the hotel.
I got to the man, who was down on the sidewalk, bleeding.
I checked his breathing. Nothing.
Pulse - nothing.
I briefly performed CPR, and realized he was a goner. His heart was stopped, he was dead. A crowd started to gather, and I could hear sirens singing in the hot summer night. The cops were on the way.
It's amazing how time slows down, and everything is absorbed:
The bugs buzzing around the streetlight.
The smell of coffee from the cafe across the street, the murmurs of the gathering crowd.
The sweat on the poor man's handsome face, the gray at his temples.
The metallic smell of his life blood, pouring out.
I felt defeated, until I noticed a sizable bulge on his chest. I opened his jacket and pulled out a large envelope, which was full of hundred - dollar bills. Many of them.
I felt good. It would easily pay for the rest of our vacation, and my ex and I would have enough money to dine nicely for the rest our trip, "LIVE LARGE". Sweet!
Maybe I could even buy her a nice trinket or two.
The next morning, I read in the New York Times that the man had been murdered on his way to give his daughter and son - in - law his life's savings to open the restaurant they had always dreamed of. His wife had recently died, and he had enough set aside to carry him through.
I felt bad, for a short while.
Much longer than our government does for doing the same damn thing.
Estate taxes are criminal. Beyond criminal.
Mr. Weiner, Mr. Frank, and your fellow money grubbing government thieves - What, exactly is your definition of "UNEARNED"? Does the family not sacrifice for everything that the Father or Mother earns? Time away from the family is sacrifice. This is a person's life, that they sacrificed for their family. That WAS A LIFE. DO NOT talk to me about "unearned", you bastards.
CLARIFICATION; 12/25/10: This post, though based on a real incident, apparently didn't make it clear that my taking of the gentleman's money was an analogy of the government essentially picking the pockets of those without a beating heart.
I would never stoop to such a level. I caught a lot of grief from the family last night.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Steve
Stop.
STOP with the class warfare. NOW.
*Whew*
Back in about 1990, My ex - wife and I spent some time in Manhattan, close to Times Square. We stayed at the Roosevelt Hotel. One night, we were on our way to visit my buddy Mark, who lived in a 4 story walk - up in Hell's Kitchen. Lovely neighborhood at the time.
We stopped on Broadway, as I recall, to get a slice at Sbarro's.
Standing there enjoying our pizza - all of sudden, I hear: POP POP POP!
Gunfire -
Being the Good Samaritan I am, and also the opportunist, I ran towards the sound of gunfire. My ex bolted back to the hotel.
I got to the man, who was down on the sidewalk, bleeding.
I checked his breathing. Nothing.
Pulse - nothing.
I briefly performed CPR, and realized he was a goner. His heart was stopped, he was dead. A crowd started to gather, and I could hear sirens singing in the hot summer night. The cops were on the way.
It's amazing how time slows down, and everything is absorbed:
The bugs buzzing around the streetlight.
The smell of coffee from the cafe across the street, the murmurs of the gathering crowd.
The sweat on the poor man's handsome face, the gray at his temples.
The metallic smell of his life blood, pouring out.
I felt defeated, until I noticed a sizable bulge on his chest. I opened his jacket and pulled out a large envelope, which was full of hundred - dollar bills. Many of them.
I felt good. It would easily pay for the rest of our vacation, and my ex and I would have enough money to dine nicely for the rest our trip, "LIVE LARGE". Sweet!
Maybe I could even buy her a nice trinket or two.
The next morning, I read in the New York Times that the man had been murdered on his way to give his daughter and son - in - law his life's savings to open the restaurant they had always dreamed of. His wife had recently died, and he had enough set aside to carry him through.
I felt bad, for a short while.
Much longer than our government does for doing the same damn thing.
Estate taxes are criminal. Beyond criminal.
Mr. Weiner, Mr. Frank, and your fellow money grubbing government thieves - What, exactly is your definition of "UNEARNED"? Does the family not sacrifice for everything that the Father or Mother earns? Time away from the family is sacrifice. This is a person's life, that they sacrificed for their family. That WAS A LIFE. DO NOT talk to me about "unearned", you bastards.
CLARIFICATION; 12/25/10: This post, though based on a real incident, apparently didn't make it clear that my taking of the gentleman's money was an analogy of the government essentially picking the pockets of those without a beating heart.
I would never stoop to such a level. I caught a lot of grief from the family last night.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Steve
Stop.
STOP with the class warfare. NOW.
*Whew*
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I Like Bacon. But, somehow, I HATE "pork".
I'll keep this short and sweet, gang. Well, short, anyways.
What the hell. WHAT THE HELL. WHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELL!!!!!
Do our idiot politicians have any clue?
SHIT!!!
No, they don't, except when it comes to enriching themselves. They are, by and large, experts at that.
Earmarks SUCK. You may believe they are a good thing for the state to which they are issued. And maybe, just maybe, they are. BUT-
After just a bit of research, I found a few very disturbing things.
Here's a simple scenario: (All of these names and businesses are fictional)
JOE SMITH, A Senator from Idaho, has an affinity for the state's population of sexually confused, three legged beavers in his state. (Yeah, right.)
LET'S JUST SAY that there is a bill working its way through congress, for, LET'S JUST SAY, an increase for additional monies to take care of our wounded veterans at VA hospitals across the country.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, who really doesn't give a fat rat's ass about the military, but portrays himself to be a friend of the military, is going to waffle about the bill, because it doesn't include the proper budget for catheters, or some such crap.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, says that he will give his vote if there could maybe, POSSIBLY be some funds included that would grant research funds for the aforementioned three legged beavers. They are sexually confused, too, remember?
STAY WITH ME, PEOPLE.
Here's the earmark:
$250,000 for "Research of the mating patterns of three legged beavers."
The monies are to be granted to the Idaho State College Dept. of Beaver Research, whose department is run by BOB JONES, who is, wonder of wonders, an old drinking buddy of JOE SMITH.
The bill passes, and JOE SMITH receives a campaign contribution of $50,000 from the aforementioned college for his re-election.
WOW! It's elegant, yet blatant bribery.
Aren't earmarks wonderful?
And don't even start with me about what a small percentage of our budget they are. I don't give a shit. Principles still matter. Get rid of earmarks. ALL OF THEM.
Sorry. Not so short, and definitely not sweet.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
What the hell. WHAT THE HELL. WHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELLWHATTHEHELL!!!!!
Do our idiot politicians have any clue?
SHIT!!!
No, they don't, except when it comes to enriching themselves. They are, by and large, experts at that.
Earmarks SUCK. You may believe they are a good thing for the state to which they are issued. And maybe, just maybe, they are. BUT-
After just a bit of research, I found a few very disturbing things.
Here's a simple scenario: (All of these names and businesses are fictional)
JOE SMITH, A Senator from Idaho, has an affinity for the state's population of sexually confused, three legged beavers in his state. (Yeah, right.)
LET'S JUST SAY that there is a bill working its way through congress, for, LET'S JUST SAY, an increase for additional monies to take care of our wounded veterans at VA hospitals across the country.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, who really doesn't give a fat rat's ass about the military, but portrays himself to be a friend of the military, is going to waffle about the bill, because it doesn't include the proper budget for catheters, or some such crap.
SO, our pal, JOE SMITH, says that he will give his vote if there could maybe, POSSIBLY be some funds included that would grant research funds for the aforementioned three legged beavers. They are sexually confused, too, remember?
STAY WITH ME, PEOPLE.
Here's the earmark:
$250,000 for "Research of the mating patterns of three legged beavers."
The monies are to be granted to the Idaho State College Dept. of Beaver Research, whose department is run by BOB JONES, who is, wonder of wonders, an old drinking buddy of JOE SMITH.
The bill passes, and JOE SMITH receives a campaign contribution of $50,000 from the aforementioned college for his re-election.
WOW! It's elegant, yet blatant bribery.
Aren't earmarks wonderful?
And don't even start with me about what a small percentage of our budget they are. I don't give a shit. Principles still matter. Get rid of earmarks. ALL OF THEM.
Sorry. Not so short, and definitely not sweet.
Hugs n' kisses,
Stephen Charles
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
OKAY THEN, NOW I'm in a FOUL Humour!!!
Here we go:
What in hell is wrong with the LEFT side? Why are they constantly setting up CLASS WARFARE?
( For what it's worth, I know the answer...) See Karl Marx's 10 planks for revolution:
http://www.laissez-fairerepublic.com/TenPlanks.html
Why is it that they spend so much time demonizing the "Wealthy"? (For what it's worth...) Refer to above.
If you agree with Marx's philosophies, just come clean, already! Let ALL Americans (or me) know where you stand! Don't be a puss.
Here is my take:
"PULL UP THE LADDERS".
I have spent the better part of the last 20 years self - employed. ANYONE who has ever been self employed knows that it is damn near impossible to get to the "magical" 250K.
You sacrifice. And sacrifice. And sacrifice. You go without paychecks, Your employees don't. This is what you do. You are building something for the future, and if it doesn't work, you are left holding the debt, and the bag. Your dream, your failure on the line. Trust me on this. Your employees toddle off to their next opportunity with nary a worry, BECAUSE YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.
If it works, everyone should share in the profits. I believe that. Truly.
Now, think for a moment that you have sacrificed, and sweated bullets, and you finally reached "The Promised Land" of $250K in your pocket. After, let's say 20 years.
Here is where our government steps in, and says : "You have no right to make that kind of money, and if you do, we're going to penalize your success."
It does not matter that you may have provided a very nice living for those who have been along for the ride. Maybe they have had 2.5 children, are living in a nice brick ranch house in middle America, and can afford to have a nice vacation once in awhile.
Pay the PIPER, you SUCKER!
Is there a better way to penalize success that you can think of?
I am truly all ears. Please bring it.
So, "PULL UP THE LADDERS"? Here's what it means to me:
You have ALMOST grabbed the "golden ring"! We cannot have that here in America! There are too many people that have not achieved your level of success, therefore, we have to pull up the ladders - you are NOT allowed here!
Boys and girls, make no mistake, if we continue down this path, it will be the end of the "American Dream".
What in hell is the motivation for reaching for the "Golden Ring" if you are punished when you get there?
Please, people if you oppose my words, bring everything you have, I am confident I will smoke you.
Love always,
Stephen Charles
What in hell is wrong with the LEFT side? Why are they constantly setting up CLASS WARFARE?
( For what it's worth, I know the answer...) See Karl Marx's 10 planks for revolution:
http://www.laissez-fairerepublic.com/TenPlanks.html
Why is it that they spend so much time demonizing the "Wealthy"? (For what it's worth...) Refer to above.
If you agree with Marx's philosophies, just come clean, already! Let ALL Americans (or me) know where you stand! Don't be a puss.
Here is my take:
"PULL UP THE LADDERS".
I have spent the better part of the last 20 years self - employed. ANYONE who has ever been self employed knows that it is damn near impossible to get to the "magical" 250K.
You sacrifice. And sacrifice. And sacrifice. You go without paychecks, Your employees don't. This is what you do. You are building something for the future, and if it doesn't work, you are left holding the debt, and the bag. Your dream, your failure on the line. Trust me on this. Your employees toddle off to their next opportunity with nary a worry, BECAUSE YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.
If it works, everyone should share in the profits. I believe that. Truly.
Now, think for a moment that you have sacrificed, and sweated bullets, and you finally reached "The Promised Land" of $250K in your pocket. After, let's say 20 years.
Here is where our government steps in, and says : "You have no right to make that kind of money, and if you do, we're going to penalize your success."
It does not matter that you may have provided a very nice living for those who have been along for the ride. Maybe they have had 2.5 children, are living in a nice brick ranch house in middle America, and can afford to have a nice vacation once in awhile.
Pay the PIPER, you SUCKER!
Is there a better way to penalize success that you can think of?
I am truly all ears. Please bring it.
So, "PULL UP THE LADDERS"? Here's what it means to me:
You have ALMOST grabbed the "golden ring"! We cannot have that here in America! There are too many people that have not achieved your level of success, therefore, we have to pull up the ladders - you are NOT allowed here!
Boys and girls, make no mistake, if we continue down this path, it will be the end of the "American Dream".
What in hell is the motivation for reaching for the "Golden Ring" if you are punished when you get there?
Please, people if you oppose my words, bring everything you have, I am confident I will smoke you.
Love always,
Stephen Charles
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I'M THINKING OF RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! Installment 1 (of about 237)
Okay. I'm what you would probably call a "common sense" guy.
A few simple starting principles:
1.) I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
2.) I AM SICK OF OUR POLITICIANS APOLOGIZING, WORLDWIDE, ON "OUR" BEHALF.
3.) THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN RUN FOR FAR TOO LONG BY SPECIAL INTERESTS, CORPORATIONS, AND / OR UNIONS.
4.) I AM FULLY AWARE OF THE INJUSTICES WE HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST MANY OF OUR OWN, AND THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN "OPPRESSED" SHOULD NEVER BE LIMITED. THEY SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED.
5.) AS FAR AS "EQUALITY", ENOUGH ALREADY!
THE CONSTITUTION MAKES CLEAR THAT WE ARE ALL Created EQUAL.
If you have an issue with the concept of creation, please leave now.
EQUAL OUTCOME IS NOT GUARANTEED, NOR SHOUD IT BE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE EXPLOITING, FOR THEIR OWN PAYCHECK, THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THESE CONCEPTS ARE ONE AND THE SAME. Howdy, MR. SHARPTON! (The term "Reverend" is inappropriate, I feel.) And the "Reverend" Jesse Jackson, same concept. They may be fine men, but they have done nothing but isolate and separate fellow Americans.
Whew! I'll take a breath now. Just getting started.
RULE # 1:
If you graduated from Yale, Harvard, Princeton or any "Ivy League" school, forget it. It's highly unlikely you will be considered for ANY position. I feel that you've spent too much time theorizing about how the REAL United States of America works to have any concept of how it really does.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you graduated from one of these schools, AND you have started your own business, with no financial investment other than your own, AND reached a comfortable level of success, with at least 10 employees, you may be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 2:
If you have achieved success in a field other than your degree. This indicates an ability to pursue other ventures, and "think out of the box". These candidates will be given special consideration in my administration.
RULE # 2:
If you, or any person in your family, has any previous experience working for a State or Federal Senator or Representative in any capacity, you will most likely not be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you have memorized, and can elaborate upon any or all parts of the Constitution of the United States of America or The Declaration of Independence, there may be consideration.
TO BE CONTINUED...
A few simple starting principles:
1.) I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
2.) I AM SICK OF OUR POLITICIANS APOLOGIZING, WORLDWIDE, ON "OUR" BEHALF.
3.) THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN RUN FOR FAR TOO LONG BY SPECIAL INTERESTS, CORPORATIONS, AND / OR UNIONS.
4.) I AM FULLY AWARE OF THE INJUSTICES WE HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST MANY OF OUR OWN, AND THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN "OPPRESSED" SHOULD NEVER BE LIMITED. THEY SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED.
5.) AS FAR AS "EQUALITY", ENOUGH ALREADY!
THE CONSTITUTION MAKES CLEAR THAT WE ARE ALL Created EQUAL.
If you have an issue with the concept of creation, please leave now.
EQUAL OUTCOME IS NOT GUARANTEED, NOR SHOUD IT BE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THOSE EXPLOITING, FOR THEIR OWN PAYCHECK, THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THESE CONCEPTS ARE ONE AND THE SAME. Howdy, MR. SHARPTON! (The term "Reverend" is inappropriate, I feel.) And the "Reverend" Jesse Jackson, same concept. They may be fine men, but they have done nothing but isolate and separate fellow Americans.
Whew! I'll take a breath now. Just getting started.
RULE # 1:
If you graduated from Yale, Harvard, Princeton or any "Ivy League" school, forget it. It's highly unlikely you will be considered for ANY position. I feel that you've spent too much time theorizing about how the REAL United States of America works to have any concept of how it really does.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you graduated from one of these schools, AND you have started your own business, with no financial investment other than your own, AND reached a comfortable level of success, with at least 10 employees, you may be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 2:
If you have achieved success in a field other than your degree. This indicates an ability to pursue other ventures, and "think out of the box". These candidates will be given special consideration in my administration.
RULE # 2:
If you, or any person in your family, has any previous experience working for a State or Federal Senator or Representative in any capacity, you will most likely not be considered for a position in my administration.
EXCEPTION # 1:
If you have memorized, and can elaborate upon any or all parts of the Constitution of the United States of America or The Declaration of Independence, there may be consideration.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Monday, November 29, 2010
FOR "DOG PEOPLE" ONLY... (Installment 1)
IF you have ever had a dog you will know exactly what I'm talkin' about here.
Dogs are extremely complex little (or big) animals. At the same time, they're very simple. I tend to look at them as 2 year old humans.
But they don't much progress beyond that.
Think of a 2 year old - generally not so good at listening, or communicating. Potty training, well, a work in progress. Dogs usually do, however, figure the potty training thing out a bit faster than humans. Fearing for their life may be a contributing factor.
Today I spent a couple of hours up on the roof cleaning gutters - one of my favorite things to do here in balmy Michigan in late November. It's right up there with setting my pubic hair on fire.
I came back inside to warm up in the bedroom. Popped on the TV, chillin' for a moment or two, before I went back out to begin work on my snowman catapult for the season.
You see, I live near a major road, and I get jollies out of launching snowmen over the treeline into the road.
You have not lived until you've seen a 6 foot snowman, with a handsome scarf, carrot nose and coal eyes come flying out of nowhere to land in front of your car!!! Don't worry - my wife spots for me, to make sure there are no major accidents on the road. 10 years, no fatalities - a record I'm damn proud of.
Very few snowman catapulters can claim that safety record... (please forgive my pride.)
Okay. The Schnauzer brings his ball in, and promptly lodges it under a cabinet where he cannot retrieve it. Being a stubborn Kraut (like me) he proceeds to moan and groan about it for at least 5 minutes. He's relentless. (Maybe he's "German American", or a "Stubborn Dog of Germanic Descent", or some PC term other than "Kraut", but i don't personally give a shit what or what isn't PC)
NON - DOG PERSON ALERT: I don't care if you have 15,297 other balls in your home - NO OTHER BALL WILL DO. When a dog has it in it's head, it MUST be the ball that is going to be a pain in the ass to retrieve. Just try it - toss another ball - the dog will look at you like you are an idiot.
I say: "You put it in there, ya dumbass, get it out yourself."
A couple more minutes go by, the moaning doesn't stop. So I get up to retrieve the "special and irreplaceable ball."
I say: "Alright ya dumbass, I'll get it for ya."
I get down on my hands and knees to pull it out, and he's not right there as usual! He's just around the corner, peering at me - looking chagrined.
I toss it, and off he goes. All is well.
So, 2 lessons:
1: There is only "the one true ball."
2: My dog now knows what "dumbass"means. I'll have to stop using that derogatory term now.
3: Catapulting snowmen is a lot of fun.
Have a wonderful day -
Steve
Friday, November 26, 2010
"Want To Lose That Belly Fat? 2 fast and easy steps you probably never knew - Just$2.99!""
I'm going to start a website, and begin advertising on various health magazine and weight loss sites. The premise is simple:
PHOTO:
A large, gaseous looking guy planted on the couch, with his belt and/or pants undone. This could also be a woman lying on a bed, trying to SQUEEZE into her pants. Include a warm, furry, canine mammalian pet in the picture, looking sad or dismayed. Perhaps a leash in the canine's mouth.
COPY, OVER PHOTO:
"Have you put on a few holiday pounds?"
"2 FAST AND EASY STEPS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW - JUST $2.99"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!"
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through, and is presented with a collage of beautiful people that are more attractive and physically fit than, well, just about anyone on planet Earth. They're on the beach, playing tennis, walking the canine, having a romantic, but obviously high calorie meal. Maybe Surf and Turf.
I should probably include some classy, yet unobtrusive music.
COPY OVER PHOTO: (Maybe a smooth voiceover instead)
"What do these incredibly beautiful, sexy, and fit people know that you don't?"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!" (You can never have too many exclamation points in these things)
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through, and is presented with a photo of a buffet of unbelievable indulgences. Steak, Lobster, Fettucini Alfredo, Lasagna, etc. Oh, and Desserts "To Die For", like my own "Brutal Lurching Death By Chocolate ®". Rich coffee drinks with whipped cream sliding ever so seductively down the side of the mug - Wine, Beer, this buffet has it ALL!!! Probably include some bacon somewhere. Who doesn't like bacon?
(Perhaps a photo collage might be better...)
COPY OVER PHOTO: (Or voice over)
"You CAN have the life you've always wanted to live, and enjoy all of this!!! With these 2 little - known steps, YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!!! JUST $2.99"
"CLICK HERE!!!"
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through. At this point, it's just about a done deal. BUT WAIT!!!
PHOTO:
A warm family moment - maybe 3 generations opening Christmas presents or something. Of course, they're all beautiful and fit.
COPY OVER PHOTO:
"We here at Weightloss for the Ages want to extend a special, limited time offer to you - if you order this eBook in the next 60 minutes, you can send a free copy to anyone you wish! What could be a better gift for the Holidays?"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!"
Okay. So, they click through, and enter their email address and credit card info. Done deal. They then receive the eBook, and it has a beautiful opening page, and some necessary mumbo jumbo. I would write a wordy and technical sounding dissertation. It should probably involve at least a half hour of reading, and some catchy slogans.
And what it all really comes down to - these 2 "little known steps"?:
1. EAT LESS.
2. MOVE AROUND MORE.
And, for just $2.99, everyone's happy. Mostly me, as my bank account explodes.
So.... who would like a copy? Please feel free to send me your money!
Stephen Charles
PHOTO:
A large, gaseous looking guy planted on the couch, with his belt and/or pants undone. This could also be a woman lying on a bed, trying to SQUEEZE into her pants. Include a warm, furry, canine mammalian pet in the picture, looking sad or dismayed. Perhaps a leash in the canine's mouth.
COPY, OVER PHOTO:
"Have you put on a few holiday pounds?"
"2 FAST AND EASY STEPS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW - JUST $2.99"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!"
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through, and is presented with a collage of beautiful people that are more attractive and physically fit than, well, just about anyone on planet Earth. They're on the beach, playing tennis, walking the canine, having a romantic, but obviously high calorie meal. Maybe Surf and Turf.
I should probably include some classy, yet unobtrusive music.
COPY OVER PHOTO: (Maybe a smooth voiceover instead)
"What do these incredibly beautiful, sexy, and fit people know that you don't?"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!" (You can never have too many exclamation points in these things)
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through, and is presented with a photo of a buffet of unbelievable indulgences. Steak, Lobster, Fettucini Alfredo, Lasagna, etc. Oh, and Desserts "To Die For", like my own "Brutal Lurching Death By Chocolate ®". Rich coffee drinks with whipped cream sliding ever so seductively down the side of the mug - Wine, Beer, this buffet has it ALL!!! Probably include some bacon somewhere. Who doesn't like bacon?
(Perhaps a photo collage might be better...)
COPY OVER PHOTO: (Or voice over)
"You CAN have the life you've always wanted to live, and enjoy all of this!!! With these 2 little - known steps, YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!!! JUST $2.99"
"CLICK HERE!!!"
Okay. So, the interested person clicks through. At this point, it's just about a done deal. BUT WAIT!!!
PHOTO:
A warm family moment - maybe 3 generations opening Christmas presents or something. Of course, they're all beautiful and fit.
COPY OVER PHOTO:
"We here at Weightloss for the Ages want to extend a special, limited time offer to you - if you order this eBook in the next 60 minutes, you can send a free copy to anyone you wish! What could be a better gift for the Holidays?"
"CLICK HERE NOW!!!"
Okay. So, they click through, and enter their email address and credit card info. Done deal. They then receive the eBook, and it has a beautiful opening page, and some necessary mumbo jumbo. I would write a wordy and technical sounding dissertation. It should probably involve at least a half hour of reading, and some catchy slogans.
And what it all really comes down to - these 2 "little known steps"?:
1. EAT LESS.
2. MOVE AROUND MORE.
And, for just $2.99, everyone's happy. Mostly me, as my bank account explodes.
So.... who would like a copy? Please feel free to send me your money!
Stephen Charles
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Ping Pong Balls Should Be Illegal
Yep, that's right, gang.
The FDA, FTC and Treasury Department have, in their infinite wisdom, determined that alcoholic beverages containing caffeine, should be banned - specifically "Four Loko". It is, from what I've gathered, a malt beverage containing the equivalent of 4 beers, and 4 cups of coffee. A true menace to society.
Seems that some dumbass college kids (unusual, but work with me...) overindulged, and either threw up, died, or shot one of their roommates through the chest with a flaming arrow propelled by a 6 foot hickory longbow. Or something.
We all know that kids have NEVER combined alcohol and energy drinks together, and neither have the 8 bazillion campus bars. Vodka and Red Bull, anyone?
A FANCY RESTAURANT, APPROX. 12:05 AM
PENELOPE:
"James, that was a wonderful meal! The wine went perfectly with the entree. You are a true connoisseur."
JAMES:
"Yes, Penny, my brilliance truly knows no bounds. Please allow me to loosen my ascot, so I can better appreciate the after dinner coffee. I hear they have a wonderful Costa Rican blend, hand picked by pygmies in the rain forest, untouched by human hands."
WAITRESS:
"Mr. and Mrs. Addleplankton, it's been wonderful having you again. Would you care to indulge in our 'Brutal Lurching Death By Chocolate' dessert? It's only 1800 calories, with a minimum of 2 days' cholesterol and saturated fat? It's wonderful!
JAMES, LOOSENING HIS ASCOT:
"No, thank you. We would, however, enjoy a cup of the Costa Rican blend."
WAITRESS, VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE:
"I'm.....sorry, Mr. Addleplankton. Perhaps you didn't see the new notice posted on our front door. You and your wife have each consumed 2 glasses of wine this evening, and the new Federal Statute 325.666.375x, section 5247b, stipulates that you cannot have alcohol and caffeine in the same establishment in the same evening, I'm afraid you'll have to go to our coffeeshop, which is conveniently located just a few steps to your right, and down the stairs.
JAMES, VISIBLY RELIEVED:
Why, thank you! I didn't realize the inherent danger. It's nice to know our government is looking out for us! We've only been enjoying coffee after dinner for some 30 years. I think we'll pass on the after dinner coffee. Thank you again, and (winking) thank our government!
And so, Ping Pong Balls Should Be Illegal. I bet you thought I'd never get to the point! You see, college kids play crazy drinking games like beer pong, and that has to have led to some vomiting and / or deaths over the years, no? Perhaps not a flaming arrow through the chest, but our government can't let it get that far out of hand.
I, for one, am glad that as American citizens, we don't really have to be accountable for our own stupidity. Thank you, Big Brother!
WARNING: READING THIS POST MAY LEAD TO EYE FATIGUE. YOUNGSTERS SHOULD NOT READ THIS POST WITH A PLASTIC BAG OVER THEIR HEAD.
Steve
The FDA, FTC and Treasury Department have, in their infinite wisdom, determined that alcoholic beverages containing caffeine, should be banned - specifically "Four Loko". It is, from what I've gathered, a malt beverage containing the equivalent of 4 beers, and 4 cups of coffee. A true menace to society.
Seems that some dumbass college kids (unusual, but work with me...) overindulged, and either threw up, died, or shot one of their roommates through the chest with a flaming arrow propelled by a 6 foot hickory longbow. Or something.
We all know that kids have NEVER combined alcohol and energy drinks together, and neither have the 8 bazillion campus bars. Vodka and Red Bull, anyone?
A FANCY RESTAURANT, APPROX. 12:05 AM
PENELOPE:
"James, that was a wonderful meal! The wine went perfectly with the entree. You are a true connoisseur."
JAMES:
"Yes, Penny, my brilliance truly knows no bounds. Please allow me to loosen my ascot, so I can better appreciate the after dinner coffee. I hear they have a wonderful Costa Rican blend, hand picked by pygmies in the rain forest, untouched by human hands."
WAITRESS:
"Mr. and Mrs. Addleplankton, it's been wonderful having you again. Would you care to indulge in our 'Brutal Lurching Death By Chocolate' dessert? It's only 1800 calories, with a minimum of 2 days' cholesterol and saturated fat? It's wonderful!
JAMES, LOOSENING HIS ASCOT:
"No, thank you. We would, however, enjoy a cup of the Costa Rican blend."
WAITRESS, VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE:
"I'm.....sorry, Mr. Addleplankton. Perhaps you didn't see the new notice posted on our front door. You and your wife have each consumed 2 glasses of wine this evening, and the new Federal Statute 325.666.375x, section 5247b, stipulates that you cannot have alcohol and caffeine in the same establishment in the same evening, I'm afraid you'll have to go to our coffeeshop, which is conveniently located just a few steps to your right, and down the stairs.
JAMES, VISIBLY RELIEVED:
Why, thank you! I didn't realize the inherent danger. It's nice to know our government is looking out for us! We've only been enjoying coffee after dinner for some 30 years. I think we'll pass on the after dinner coffee. Thank you again, and (winking) thank our government!
And so, Ping Pong Balls Should Be Illegal. I bet you thought I'd never get to the point! You see, college kids play crazy drinking games like beer pong, and that has to have led to some vomiting and / or deaths over the years, no? Perhaps not a flaming arrow through the chest, but our government can't let it get that far out of hand.
I, for one, am glad that as American citizens, we don't really have to be accountable for our own stupidity. Thank you, Big Brother!
WARNING: READING THIS POST MAY LEAD TO EYE FATIGUE. YOUNGSTERS SHOULD NOT READ THIS POST WITH A PLASTIC BAG OVER THEIR HEAD.
Steve
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Economics 101 and Soup
I find it interesting that Obama has an issue with China’s “undervalued currency” but has absolutely no understanding of the effect of pumping 600 billion dollars into our economy. I am not an economics genius, ( though I play one on TV ) but a soup analogy is in order.
Nice segue, huh?
Let‘s say it’s a blustery fall afternoon, and you’re making a nice pot of homemade chicken soup. Makes the house smell nice, and warms the tummy. You taste it it, and it seems a bit weak. So, because you’re a soup making genius, you decide the best course is to add more water. Yeah. That’s what any soup making genius would do, right? So, you taste it again, and oddly enough, it seems WEAKER. This is baffling, no? So, once again, as the soup making genius that you are, you add EVEN MORE WATER. When you taste it again, it’s now so weak, it’s hardly edible.
Next course of action? Serve the soup, and blame its weakness on the previous soup maker!
WOW. Maybe I AM a genius! Economics and soup making walk hand in hand!!! Who’da thunk it!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
P.S.
The background photo is my apartment in Switzerland, where I spend my lonely summer months, pining away for the beauty and aroma of the ghetto streets in an unnamed American metropolis. More soon-
Stephen Charles
Stephen Charles
New and Improved
I really can't say I'm improved, I am new, however, because this is my first post. Toes are cold, and I'm not sure how deep the water is, but please join me on a merry adventure. LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!
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